Wed. May 1st, 2024


I thought I had seen every single possible permutation of the Die Hard formula — or at least I had exhausted my desire to see any further permutations. But then came Violent Night. Which is basically Die Hard on Christmas — well, okay Die Hard was Die Hard on Christmas, that is true. But this Die Hard on Christmas actually features Santa Claus in the John McClane role.

And we’re not talking, like, a mall Santa who has to save the mall where he works after it gets overrun by terrorists. Now, this is the legit, lives-in-the-North-Pole, hangs-with-flying-reindeer Santa. He’s played by David Harbour and he is ready to kick some butt — and because the movie is produced by the same company that gave us John WickAtomic Blonde, and Nobody, he’s going to do it in inventively violent and bloody fashion. (The gag with the sharpened candy cane … ouch.)

I cannot imagine anyone not wanting to see this movie from the description alone but if you need more convincing here is the trailer:

Here is the film’s official synopsis:

From 87North, the bare-knuckle producers of Nobody, John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Bullet Train and Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw comes a coal-dark holiday action-comedy that says you should always bet on red. When a team of mercenaries breaks into a wealthy family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone inside hostage, the team isn’t prepared for a surprise combatant: Santa Claus (David Harbour, Black Widow, Stranger Things series) is on the grounds, and he’s about to show why this Nick is no saint.

The opportunities for bad Christmas action hero puns are literally endless. Violent Night will open in theaters on December 2. Ho ho ho.

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By Dave Jenks

Dave Jenks is an American novelist and Veteran of the United States Marine Corps. Between those careers, he’s worked as a deckhand, commercial fisherman, divemaster, taxi driver, construction manager, and over the road truck driver, among many other things. He now lives on a sea island, in the South Carolina Lowcountry, with his wife and youngest daughter. They also have three grown children, five grand children, three dogs and a whole flock of parakeets. Stinnett grew up in Melbourne, Florida and has also lived in the Florida Keys, the Bahamas, and Cozumel, Mexico. His next dream is to one day visit and dive Cuba.