Sun. Dec 22nd, 2024

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After 120-odd years, cinema has finally reached its apex, finally attained the true artistic purpose it was created to eventually achieve.

To show a bear high on cocaine.

That is the subject (and title character!) of Cocaine Bear, which is supposedly based on a true story of a black bear that stumbled upon a cache of cocaine that was lost during a smuggling operation gone wrong. The bear ingested the cocaine and thus was born … Cocaine Bear. From there, at least in the film’s telling, this deranged forest creature goes on a rampage.

The trailer for this movie, which was directed by Elizabeth Banks and also stars such non-bear actors as Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson, Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Brooklynn Prince, Isiah Whitlock Jr. and the late Ray Liotta, looks … well, frankly, it looks incredible. Watch it for yourself below.

Here is the film’s official synopsis:

Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow … and blood.

Cocaine Bear is scheduled to open in theaters on February 24. (Wait, not on Valentine’s Day? Can you imagine a more romantic movie for a date night than Cocaine Bear? I cannot.) Regardless, after that trailer, I’m feeling very high on this movie’s potential.

The Best Movie Titles in History

What’s in a name? A lot, as these great film titles prove.



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By Dave Jenks

Dave Jenks is an American novelist and Veteran of the United States Marine Corps. Between those careers, he’s worked as a deckhand, commercial fisherman, divemaster, taxi driver, construction manager, and over the road truck driver, among many other things. He now lives on a sea island, in the South Carolina Lowcountry, with his wife and youngest daughter. They also have three grown children, five grand children, three dogs and a whole flock of parakeets. Stinnett grew up in Melbourne, Florida and has also lived in the Florida Keys, the Bahamas, and Cozumel, Mexico. His next dream is to one day visit and dive Cuba.