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Plot: When a cheer squad practices their routines on Halloween weekend in an abandoned school, they are picked off one by one by an unknown killer.
Review: I’m not sure what I expected when it came to Bring it On: Cheer or Die, but I can at least say it lives up to the name. Because there is a metric crap ton of cheerleading, with just a sprinkle of death. And most of those deaths are so uneventful, that it essentially just feels like a high school theater project. And by the time you see the killer’s costume, it just further solidifies that idea.
Cheer or Die begins in the ancient year 2002 where we get to see a major cheerleading accident that leads to someone’s death. How did they die exactly? Falling 15 feet from the top of the pyramid down onto the padded platform below. She’s dead as a doornail and we are shown just how silly this movie is willing to get. We then jump forward twenty years to the same school and see that “stunts” in cheerleading (when you leave the ground) have been banned. But that’s not going to stop these voracious cheerleaders because goddammit, they need to cheer! But little do they realize, that someone will do anything they can to stop them. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds
The dialogue is terrible. I’d say the only person that really acquits themselves well is the lead Kerri Medders. She does a good enough job, and despite the very stilted dialogue, manages to be an intriguing lead. It was also nice to see Missi Pyle, who has always been criminally underrated. She gets a fun role here, though I could have definitely done with more of her. But dear god, the overacting that’s going on here from some of the other actors is just criminal. Sam Robert Muik is really entertaining as the stoner but mostly says bottom-of-the-barrel weed jokes.
I’m genuinely shocked that this came from Rebecca McKendry who brought us the wonderful Glorious earlier this year. Hell even her co-writer Dana Schwartz is a writer on the new She-Hulk show, so clearly, there’s talent here. But none of that shows up on the page. This is neither witty nor is it fun in a satirical sense. In fact, it mostly feels like this was a Bring It On script that was rewritten into a horror movie with the caveat of “don’t change anything major.” Hell, even the kills are lame and wrapped up almost the moment they get started.
I think the most ridiculous moment may have been when the team needed to do a cheerleading move in order to escape the killer. I mean, what more could you really want from a Bring It On horror movie? You know, other than actual fun. But the most ridiculous moment is probably during the killer reveal. While I obviously won’t go into details, I’m not sure I’ve seen a reveal fumbled so badly. There’s really over-the-top acting and motivations that make you go “Umm…what?” I wish I could have had more fun with it, but instead, I just felt really bad for the people involved.
I’m not really sure who Cheer or Die was made for. As a horror fan, there were about 8 minutes of cheerleading routines that bored me to tears. Yet the young people that will be showing up for that, may not be into the horror that surrounds it. It’s essentially an amalgamation of things that should work together, but don’t because the filmmakers clearly didn’t know how to make a horror movie outside of “Have someone killing people.” There’s no tension, no thrills, and the only thing you’ll be anticipating is when the credits roll. Because the last thing I would ever want to do, is cheer this movie on.
Bring It On: Cheer Or Die premieres OCTOBER 8th, on the SYFY Channel!
3
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